Series 1 - Episode 1 - 'Rose'

This is likely to be my longest review, as there is much to talk about in terms of the whole series, as well as within the episode itself.

In 2005 Doctor Who returned to out screens like an exhibitionist on Viagra. It was big, and it wanted us to know! Unfortunately ‘Rose’ failed to do this – if this were an erection then someone needs to help it out as the episode is simply a bit limp. Not all of it, but bits of it – how this works into the erection analogy I’m not 100% sure – tune in next week to find out!

One think you have to give to ‘Rose’ is that while it didn’t work in places – it had some balls, and those balls were big. It would be with these balls that Series 1 wouldn’t just give birth to a new Doctor, new enemies, and new spin offs – but one of the best shows in television.

A universe of possibilities, as well as countless rehashes of this image.

So as ‘Rose’ shows off her bits, why don’t I think they look very attractive?

The problem with ‘Rose’ is its well...a bit rubbish. If this storyline had appeared anywhere else than the opening episode it would be up there with ‘Fear Hers’ overall rubbishness, and ‘The Beast Below’ in terms of plot holes.

Unfortunately it’s in one of the shows best introductions of a new Doctor and new companion.

First thing is first – what was RTD thinking! Plastic dummies are brilliant, I like the idea and the concept, and it’s the other stuff...plastic Mickey...the bin scene...Mickey’s all round rubbishness...

Okay – I love Mickey – But What! WHAT! In the opening montage (which I’ll get to in a minute) he is shown as this nice care free loving guy. In the flat scene – same thing!

Then he goes all ‘hard’ in the car, but looks like some kind of American gangster! The faces, the way he sits with his arm out the side! I get the joke, he is in a ludicrous car trying to look hard, but someone could have told the director (who overall is the worst NuWho has had) cause those scenes are atrocious.

Later he becomes a snibbly wee coward – but he just isn’t! Bad characterisation for a man whose biggest asset is characterisation! RTD made Mickey a joke in this episode – and it doesn’t sit well to me, nor will it ever. I’m okay with the Doctor treating Mickey like an idiot, but not him acting like one!

Fortunately Mickey becomes one of the most complex aspects of the series, and his relationship with Rose is as adult as the show will ever be.

(PS. How Rose leaves him I hate – if she doesn’t want to be with him then she shouldn’t have been. The whole ‘I have nothing to be thankful to you for’ scene is really not a good fit, and sets off Roses complete inability to tell what she feels for Mickey due to her own ego. More on this later.)

So on with the episode iself!

We start with Rose, Mickey and Jackie all being introduced effectively within a minute, and in a way where they all feel real and they’ve been with us forever. The biggest benefit to this scene is the music. That rhythm is great and the only well paced music of the episode – if that sounds like a slate then it’s up there with the best in series 1. You always know a piece of music is strong when you realise how easy it is to sing along to (it is however ruined when they try to cut it into being music in the shop, and gets a choppy moment where the tune cuts up and down very strongly – sounds too cheap).

What I love about the basement scene is Rose is only down there to get Wilson’s lottery money. In some shows she’d be down there after a power cut, or she hears a noise and goes down without having any business to do so, but as with much of NuWho it stays in reality and shows people as rationale beings rather than objects to push the plot along.

Hearing a noise Rose checks out, slightly spooked out seeing as she is in a very dark basement, but still thinking its Wilson.

The next scene shows the first directing troubles. Dummies would work great. They would. However as soon as that door opens, you know it’s them. There so many, and not just that, look exactly like men in plastic suits. Where have you seen a manikin like that? In the scene where the building blows up Rose is standing in front of a shop FULL of manikins – it’s like a punch in the face of the director for shooting them in this way!

Hmmmmmm? said the viewer sarcasticly

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz... said the director sleepily

I have no overall problem with the design, but a bit of clever lighting to keep them in the shadows, and you know, not sticking them in the middle of every shot, striking odd and very noticeable poses.

This isn’t a problem with the script but with Keith Boak’s direction. It’s not a good argument that the show is new because any director would know to make this scene so much spookier, it’s almost like he didn’t care.

Oh look! A manikin in the shadows! This is the moment we ‘realise’ the Manikins are evil and such, and Boak finally invents the fucking shadow – shame it’s too late.

(PS: There not Autons so I won't call them it)

It’s a nice scene, and probably the best the Manikins look. A great moment follows, Rose is trapped and it looks like lights out – honestly when I first watched it I had no idea what would happen next.

‘Run!’
You know...cause your not bright enough to do it yourself...ah...

Christopher Eccleston dives into the role as The Doctor from the first moment and from here on in, never falters and is always ‘The Doctor’ – (Till he dies mind.)

Now I’m sorry, but here we see a weakness with the music in this episode, as well as the direction. The pacing of the next running scene is so off, the music, the jumpy camerawork – you just want it over.

Luckily it obliges and the Manikin is made ‘armless.

Series 6 ends with Rory getting trapped behind this very same cage.
Timey Whimey, Pyjama Pyjama

The next scene is great, The Doctor is introduced as mad, eccentric, and slightly forgetful, no one else on television gets away with such cheeky charm and then returning just to tell them to quite simply ‘leg it’.

I think the Ninth Doctor is the best written for, in terms of dialogue it’s always funny, cheeky and slightly silly. That could be Chris being all round brilliant, but I feel something is fresh here, so much so that it’s only starting to return in Series 4 and 5.

One problem with all of the above. Why? Why blow it up, The Doctor knows he needs to use the plastic to find the Nestene Consciousness – so why not steal a nice head, or turn one off using the sonic? Even follow the transmission from on top of the building to find the main base?

Fact is the shoddy plotting isn’t the only problem with this episode.

The following scenes see a hand fly miraculously in the air, some terrible outdoor shooting and directing. Again it comes across as very lazy for me, Boak just shoots what’s in front of him, with very little thought of anything artistic or about the mood. This problem I feel follows him into the Slitheen Two-parter.

Ignoring the rather pointless arm stuff, once The Doctor swans off in the TARDIS, Rose goes to find out more about him. I’ve never liked this, even the first time I saw it. Ignoring the Mickey stuff which I’ve already gone over (Plastic Mickey and Bin Mickey – btw does that bin go trundling through London like Brum? In which case – RTD has another spin-off ‘Brim’) it’s the photo stuff.

I'd rather have Adric return than this picture re-feature.
(And I'd rather Doctor Who never happened than that took place!)

UGH! It’s so photoshopped! ‘Hey let’s put The Doctor at the JFK Assassination’, never mind the fact he isn’t in the picture, thus ruining it for the wee kiddies running onto their mums Laptop to find him, or the fact that why would 

The Doctor go watch someone die?

The other pictures, I’m fine with. Just hate that one, it’s a cheap effect and like most cheap effects falls flat on its face. Over-doing it has always been RTD’s problem and it’s seen here heavily.

LUCKILY THIS IS FOLLOWED WITH MICKEY AND ROSE GOING FOR PIZZA!

'Hey Mickey you so shiny, I really want to make you mine, Hey Mickey!'
Oh and two more things:

1 -  Wheres his gun?

2 - Where did they get all that plastic so quickly!?

What’s that? Oh right sorry, I retconned that from my memory – Mickey is plastic now! It’s a nice idea, but it’s done much better with Rory in the series 5 finale. Here Mickey acts and looks plastic. Oh and Rose is either an idiot or a bitch for not noticing – I’ve never decided, probably both mind. 

For me, he should have stayed looking like Mickey, but a bit shifty and keep the probing questions and cork going into his head.

Headless head Mickey ‘Don’t think thats gonna stop me!’ Is pretty cool though and does work as light fun. Unfortunately some more poorly paced music follows. Its only when the music becomes the more orchestral it gets good, making the entire TARDIS scene simply breath taking.

It is the best - especially this series.

Until the powers that be decided just bright lights looked good.

The powers were wrong.

Leading up to it, the music stays strong, Roses reaction is amazing and the direction of it is actually pretty good, Boak seems to consider this important enough for him to wake up.

The music when Rose enters the TARDIS is amazing, a soft voice singing, the size of it – its spectacular. In fact the entire TARDIS set and TARDIS scene are the best moment (as you’d expect) in the episode.

After a quick argument, a melting head, another argument and a joke about the North we dive back into the growingly convoluted plot.

You can see it in Chris's face:

'Is this the right show? Its suppose to be written by RTD you know... weren't you in a music video once?'

First – London eye was silly – the ‘Fantastic!’ bit was funny, but otherwise its never explained if the Nestene was part of the planning of its building or if it used it or what.

Second – Oh look Doctor! The First sewer we check and its there!

All a bit rubbish for me sorry.

Thankfully the Nestene Consciousness is a great monster, its lava filled body in a pool of plastic works great. We need more of these monsters in Who, odd, strange and overall just powerful because of their odd genetic make-up (its plastic).

The Nestene Consiousness face was lost in the time war.

Please Note if this were Series 4 then it got stolen by some nasty Daleks, and if its in Series 5 - fell through a crack, except it didn't exactly...

My only problem here, is again the plot. The Doctor never really gives the Nestene a chance, the anti-plastic puts it on the defensive. Another plot problem, the TARDIS suddenly appears in the wall, and Mickey was transported across London in a bin it seems (as I’ve said I actually like this idea).

Got to hand it to Boak - this is one of the strongest images of the TARDIS.

Some great War talk from Chris here, as well as a great companion moment from Rose – sure its not clever like they do nowadays, but it is fantastic. Both great characterisations, Rose is phenomenal in her hands on approach, bringing back her gymnastics in a later episode would have been great, sadly it wasn’t to be.

My last plot problem is that so many Dummies shooting across the entire world would have a pretty big death count. Yet were later told in other episodes people just imagined it (an ongoing silly plot element in NuWho due to RTD’s inability to just hold back or change setting a bit). Next the Jackie scene intercut with the factory scene, its ignored for too long and suddenly returns after about 30 seconds have passed since it was made clear her death was imminent. Bad time cuts are always a problem on TV though, but still its a problem.

Ah the final scene, Rose is saying bye to The Doctor. She refuses his offer to leave, unfortunately this is inter-cut with the know wimp Mickey, who is again as I said at the start. Badly characterised.

A big thing was made when Catherine Tate turned The Doctor down, unfortunately Chris’s face here is often forgotten – the complete feeling of rejection is visible – but unlike the Tenth Doctor he comes back. The TARDIS appearing and disappearing here looks amazing, blowing the fog and illuminating a brilliant blue.

'Go fuck yourself Mickey, but if you don't think of me while you do it - I will kill you as a child.'

This is a deleted scene in both 'Rose' and 'Father's Day'

Sure its nice, but next thing we know the romantic moment is ruined by Rose basically sticking two middle fingers up to Mickey after events get her a bit full of herself and seeing herself as somehow better than him.

Rose : Thanks

Mickey: What for?

Rose: Exactly.

Horrible characterisation for Rose – funny looking back, Amy doesn’t even do this and she gets slated for her relationship with Rory.

The worst thing about this scene is that earlier Mickey is shown as while being a bit useless, to be really rather caring. If Rose felt so little towards him to just dingy him in the middle of nowhere then she should have left him much earlier.

Fortunately Series 1 will strengthen Mickey with him eventually giving up on Rose.

Unfortunately Series 2 will see this reversed as Roses actions towards Mickey become even more consistently out-of-character. Causing him to eventually leave her himself for his own adventure. Again unfortunately, he returns and they basically get together again it seems, but then its ruined as soon as Rose jumps the Doctor again (hurting not only Mickey, but also The Doctor as she accepts what basically lays down to a half-version of him) showing she has no emotional growth from this episode ‘Rose’ to her leaving again in ‘Journeys end’. Which is frankly very shoddy work from RTD and for a character many in fandom seem to adore.

So what does ‘Rose’ succeed in? Quite simply introducing the characters (except Mickey of course).

Unfortunately not much else works, the humour is okay but its not until Steven Moffat writes the one liners of ‘Empty Child/The Doctor Dances’ that the show finds its funny spot. Nor does the plot go very high. Direction and Music were all pretty terrible.

One thing that can be said – RTD knew what he wanted and he didn’t reduce anything to try and fit to the norm of TV. Instead he wrote what he wanted to write, and frankly it was ballsy, but it’s not until next week’s that the show begins to erect itself as must watch TV and even then it’s some time till it before its straight and steady, the best show on TV.

This important scene shot a door close.

Minor Points

- Final scene is horrible - especially the cut to a real-time moment of the TARDIS door closing after a cheesy bay-watch attempt. Weirdest moment ever on Doctor Who.

- RTD does really make the Doctor mysterious and wonderful.

- Anti-plastic is cheap but cool.

Score

So this episode isn't terrible in that it introduces all the character elements for the rest of the series. It does however feature some terrible musical pacing, worst Directing on NuWho frankly, a plot about a flimsy as them bendy rullers you get.

Yet at the same time its fun, this review is so long because theres so many events, whereas other episodes such as next week see a strict Act 1 - Act 2 - Act 3 sort of thing, this episode is hitting in every direction, and overall the pace only weakens during the shed and bin scenes.

I'm giving this a 5/10. 

I want to offer more, but for the opening episode of the revived series its certainly very weak, and doesn't differentiate itself enough from the later 80's series and in some regards plays towards those times.

Instead I think it endangers the series, and if it were episodes like 'Rose' every week I believe the show would not be anywhere near as successful as it is - thats if it even made it to a second series.

Join me soon for 'End of the World' where things pick up in a wonderful little episode.